Love is...

Love.

It gets talked about a lot. In all kinds of contexts, with variations on the meaning from lust to mere fondness. And it's no wonder -- lust is a very base form of intense, limited fondness. And fondness is the foundation of Love.

Love doesn't have a good definition, hence the confusion about it. There are all kinds of nuances and edges and corners and it looks different when you look at it from different perspectives.

So how do you know you actually, really love someone? Or if they love you?

Have you ever felt obligated to do something for someone? Has anyone ever done something for you because they felt obligated to do it?

Well, that's not it.

When you find yourself wanting to do things for someone to help improve their lives or bring them a moment's happiness, and getting something from them in return doesn't even factor into the equation -- that's it. When you want someone to be happy because it makes you happy to see them happy -- that's it. That's the stuff. That's what you're looking for.

If you're trying to manipulate someone into behaving in a way that benifits you -- be it by them showing you affection or doing things to make you happy, or even just to get their approval -- that ain't it. Same in reverse.

The love is in the wanting - if their happiness is what you want in return for your efforts... That's IT!

True love is a hard thing to find when you're looking for it. Many of us move right on by true love without even recognizing it.

Love doesn't obligate you to behave in a certain way toward another. The love is in the wanting to behave that way on your own.